Mosport Press Conference

Driver Horta – missing from the conference, via WhatsApp Video Call (and not a good call)

(Liffio Orifficio – UBol) – Horta, another win last time out, but a more fun race that was? Do you think the improvements that Scuderia Libra has been making will challenge your championship hopes?

It w a fu ce and Tib mad gress – ood for the championsh

(Chew Babaca – MosEisley Times) – gaaaaawn, gggggrrrrrr, grrrrrrrnnnnn. grrrrrrow. gggrrrhahhhhhawwwhhhahwhha haaaaahhwwwwwwhhhhwww.
Translated by Han-Guitar Solo: The wookie here is asking if you think you can handle a tough high-speed track like Mosport, and is asking if you think you can make a lap in less than 12 parsecs.

I lap der secs

(Regi Remo – RedeBobo) – Horta, i know from my 50+ years of covering F1 races, that “to come is one thing and to pass is another!”, in this narrow track, with big trucks, how important do you think the pole position is?

ery tant! sition is important to sco ximum poin kend!

-Devagar de Véio Bicha is missing from the room, thankfully.-

Driver Ballagher

(Lito Devagante – SpOrTv) – Tibspencer, we are impressed by your evolution last week. Can we expect a bit more tonight, maybe a win? What are your thoughts on the track? Do you feel it suits your style? Are you believing Horta maybe out of the race before it starts, given he’s still flying back to Canada from Italy? Are you racing a new livery tonight, or the same old LoweSpeed? Can you [knocked out by a fellow reporter]

Man, you sure can talk a lot and slow. Fuck.
Anyway. I’ll try my best to win. The track is really fun. I wasn’t expecting to be fun, but it is. This whole track thing is fun. Horta will be there in time to race, no doubt. FD is the pinnacle of importance for everyone. Lowespeed is a great partner and we won’t breach our contract with them, they have been nothing but supportive of our season. I think i can, honestly.

(Fellow Reporter – FS3) – My goodness, I thought he would never stop! Anyway, are you trying a new setup tonight?
Yeah, i don’t think he would’ve stopped, thanks for that. About the setup, yes. We are trying a new setup tonight, Donatellofson recruited some extra help and he’s been hard at work to provide the best car and we have been hard(ly) working to provide the best results.

(Piado Malves – FS4) This is the last race of the regular season. Is this the turning point for you?
Turn around, everynow and then i get a little bit closer to the wall and i call the caution’s out.
Turn around, it’s been a little bit hard to lose all those races, but i hope there’s no more of that.
Turn around, LOUDER!
It’s the total eclipse of regular season.

Scuderia Libra sets camp at Mos-Eisley-Port.

Scuderia Libra has arrived at MosEisleyPort for tonight’s Coca-Cola City Auto the Auto Pennsylvania Drive Mosport O’Reilly Turtles Tales 150. The team will be racing their #29 Lowespeed Toyota esperonãotomarumaTunda Duude Energy DuudeWorld NGTRuuck Series truck which will be driven by Tispencer Ballagher.

During the winter-is-coming setup test, the team did made some changes to their Toyota ireallyhopewewont tomarumaTunda, but this is something to be explained in depth by crew chief Alan Donatellofson:

Donatellofson: We did make some serious improvement to the LoweSpeed Toyota. Instead of using lead for the chassis, we started using heavy steel. This allowed for a lighter weight and more maneuverable chassis for better cornering. We also ended our contract with our ghost-engine supplier, Honda and started a new contract with a new supplier from Italy, called FIAT. Our truck now has a cutting edge Fire 1.0 engine, which are built to last and will provide the necessary power for straight-line speed. Lastly, but not leastly, we did serviced the brakes on our truck, apparently, you have to change fluid, discs and pads frequentely, who knew?

 
 
 
 
Driver Tispencer Ballagher is also excited to race:

Ballagher: Oh man, i love POD racing. I’m a huge Anakin Skywalker fan and i will try my best to kill all the racers.. wait. What? Sorry, someone behind the camera is saying that i’ll be racing a CAR, and not a POD, and that the race will take place on a… track? I have no idea what these words means, but i’ll try my best to score points for the team and win the race.

 
 
 
 

Scuderia Libra still haven’t announced a new Team Principal, so the administration of the team is still managed by The Powers That Be.

Powers-that-be: After this race, no sooner than that, announcements will be made. Summon a new Team Chief we will. Be prepared or die suffering. Also, hai mom! i’m on tv! lero lero lero.

 
 
 
 
 

So, will tonight’s Coca-Cola City Auto the Auto Pennsylvania Drive Mosport O’Reilly Turtles Tales 150 mark the end of an era for Scuderia Libra? Will that means that the era of losing is ending?
Who knows? Who gives a rat’s ass about what i am writing here?

CTR Race Preview: Coca-Cola City Auto the Auto Pennsylvania Drive Mosport O’Reilly Turtles Tales 150

Aaaah, L’Italia. Vairano. Più bello! Our spacenuts team is ready for another good showing!
Ship parts! Hooray! We know our parts are here somewhere. WAKE UP!
 You two stupid idiots! Tonight we’re racing the Coca-Cola City Auto the Auto Pennsylvania Drive Mosport O’Reilly Turtles Tales 150. Coca-Cola City Auto the Auto Pennsylvania Drive Mosport O’Reilly Turtles Tales 150, don’t you get it? It’s MOSPORT, CANADA! Not Vairano, Italy! You dumbasses are “variano”, for sure. You… you Aliens! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Oh noes…

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